sometimes words

words.
prattle.
and rattle.
skeletons.
making love.
on tin rooftops.

i hate words.

but sometimes
words whisper
lush soft stories
of golden sunets
dripping from the roof
of the grass
that leads
to the fresh cold
of wah-kadait

and sometimes
i love
sometimes words



Creative Commons License
baruk feddabonn

6 comments:

Gauri Gharpure said...

beautiful...

is the additional sometime in the last line intentional or a mistake? it sounds better without tht..

Fictitioustruth said...

i don't think sometimes is unintentional and personally it gives another layer.

Everyone reads a poem from his frame of reference and creates his own meaning from some else's words.

For me "sometimes" makes it beautiful.

And I am not sharing my meaning.

featherbone said...

@ gauri: i thought quite a bit before leaving that last line in.

@fictitious: thanks for that validation of reader-response. sometimes i think thats the only thing i took away from college.

i did not have any particular intent in putting in 'sometimes', though i am glad if it makes sense to some. i think sometimes its just nice to play with words!

Gauri Gharpure said...

agreed... with both of u, more so with fictionous truth in tht tht each reader takes his or her own meaning out of a poem.

For one, i feel somehow sad when the feeling with which i have written a poem is interpreted in a completely opposite sense. :) but that's the beauty of it, I guess. And yes, like fictionous truth, I also dont attempt to voice out wht r the feelings hiding behind the word.

Baruk or Featherbone, I read ur comment on the post Disparity and us just now.. I liked what i read and have replied. We feel, you might as well know her name and add some shades to the cacophony of life.. :) unsolicited advice can go to the crap bin, so feel free to do so.. ha ha

dee said...

hmmm... i see u've developed this one further! i like it this way! Nice babe! :)

featherbone said...

@gauri: unsolicited advice always welcome...god knows i need feedback. and unsolicited usually means free, so hey! keep it coming! har har.

@dee: thanks!